Advice Part 4: Admins Marina and Casey

Hey, guys! Since Casey is in the shower right now, I’m going to be sneaky and take the questions this time. So instead of my comments being in my signature blue, they’re just going to be…normal. 😛

Remember, you can ask us for advice at our ask.fm page! In fact, we’d really love you if you did. 😉

Casey: Man Marina how dare you steal my thunder! So I will be writing in green since Marina is writing normal.

Marina: And for those of you on the WP Reader who can’t see colors, I’ve added Casey’s name to the stuff she’s said. 😛

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How do you make friends?

Do you mean me personally? Well, I guess I’m fairly outgoing, so I just go up to someone and introduce myself, maybe ask what the other person is doing and/or if I can join in if it’s something that multiple people can do. It’s the same thing for me online, more or less (though I honestly find Fantage a bit daunting to make friends in since there’re so many people there…). Just don’t be afraid to approach people and get to know them a little bit!

Casey: You can make friends in many different ways. If it’s in real life, I highly suggest talking to people you see alone or the new kids in school. Online, I suggest just trying to talk to people who seem friendly or like to make people laugh and make people happy.

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Have you made any new friends in the blogging world?

Do you mean in general or since the last advice post? In general, I’ve met almost all of my friends I talk to regularly through FTWP. ;D

Casey: Not really no, I tend to keep to myself though. I am willing to engage if others talk to me first, but I will usually not be the one to instigate a conversation.

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What do you guys have in common? 🙂 – Hannah again

Well, as far as I know, we all have similar personalities. Anna and I also like a lot of the same games (Tomodachi Life is one example). All four of us like anime, but our tastes vary since “anime” means so many different kinds of shows these days. Uh…our opinions on certain things are usually similar, I think? 😛

Casey: Marina and I are basically twins. All four of us have the same humor. I am not sure what else we have in common though.

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Who is Fantage Confessions?

We don’t know.

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Why is your name FantageMarianna but not a name with all your names combined?

When we created this blog (during all of the Rop drama), it was just Anna and me. Casey and Nunnally didn’t join in until a little later. By the time they did join, we’d already picked out a name. 😛

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Do you like music?

Not as much as other people, but yeah! My tastes in music are a little weird, though. 😆

Casey: Love it. A little more than is healthy I suppose. I have to clean out my iPod every few weeks to stay below 800 songs. ;-; I love a bunch of genres, I am sure everyone knows that I do enjoy kpop, I like jpop/jrock, post-core, electronic, alternative, screamo. Etc. The list just keeps going. I have also been to about 24 concerts (I lost track) and own more than 40 band shirts. I have a bit of a problem when it comes to music. My favorite bands are Day6, Ghost Town, and Pierce The Veil.

Advice Part 3: Admin Casey

 

Don’t forget to ask us for advice. Click me! And please share our advice page! I would love to help you guys.

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How do I make friends in the blogging community? I feel like everyone has their own squad and stuff and I don’t want to intrude

Honestly, to make some friends in any situation you’re going to have to intrude at least slightly. If you see a post someone made that you want to talk to, don’t be afraid to comment on it. You don’t have to jump into the middle of someone’s conversation just leave a kind comment or something similar. Even though everyone on here does seem to have their own squad, most people are willing and open to the idea of gaining more friendships. Just take a chance! If they get mad at you, they obviously weren’t worth a second of your time. I hope this helped. ❤

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I’ve been friends with this person for a long time, but lately it feels like we can’t agree on anything and that we have nothing in common. I want to keep being friends, but I feel like we’re growing apart… What should I do?

It’s normal to grow apart from a friend no matter how long you guys have been together. You don’t exactly need to be best friends anymore, you can be friendly acquaintances and such. When friendships grow apart, there is nothing you really can do. It’s better to let the drift happen instead of trying to pull the two of you close together. If you do that, it will only end in a completely fractured friendship, because when a split starts occurring it might be caused by someone or both friends finding who they are and who they are might not be the person they once were. You guys are still growing  and nothing lasts forever, the important parts are the memories you guys have made together as well as the laughs and good times. Just let the drift happen and see what life brings you next. I hope this helped.  ❤

Advice Part 2: Admins Casey and Marina

I am trying to wait for at least three each time but these are both long so I thought might as well. Keep sending in asks here! Sorry I keep taking all the questions, I am just so excited about it! xD Please be on the look out for old advice posts because the other admins might add their sides to different questions. Check the last post to see Marina’s side.

Marina: I’ll be adding my comments if I have anything to say that Casey hasn’t already covered!

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How can I make myself put trust in my friends again? A few years ago, my best friend told a secret of mine to the whole grade and everybody still knows it to this day, although they rarely tease me about it anymore… they teased me before, though. I have this secret built up in me (I’ve had it for a year or two now) and I just really want to get it off of my chest and tell one of my friends and maybe they could help me with my problems, but I have a fear it’ll get out again and I’ll suffer… What can I do?

First of all, a true friend wouldn’t do that. But, if you are at a younger age things like this are bound to happen. A lot. It is hard to trust someone and you may never fully be able to trust the same person again, but you shouldn’t be afraid to tell your friends if something bothers you. That is when you find out if they are real friends or not. I suggest telling them and seeing how they react, if it gets out again there is really nothing you can do but remember that school is temporary and so is this issue. After you graduate, it is likely you’ll never see those people again so don’t stress about the negativity. Just be open and honest with them and determine if they are really your friend or not. Also, if this friend has some something similar with other people and/or treated you badly another time in the past, chances are she isn’t really your friend and she won’t ever change. I hope this helped! ❤

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I’m a little uncomfortable around people who cuss. I’ve asked my mom how to deal with this and she says to be straightforward and tell a person, “If you’re my friend, don’t say those words around me,” but I’m afraid that’s too strong of a confession. I don’t care that it’s “cool” to cuss with some people and that I’d get hated for, say, telling on a person using strong language, but how do I smoothly get some of my friends not to use profanity around me? It may not even have to be verbally; what do I do?

Before I go into detail about handling this situation, I must say there are a lot of reasons why people cuss, it might not even be because it is “cool”. It could be from tourettes ,in some cases and it could be a conditioned response, in others it could be how they blow off anger. But I know how you feel. My best friend hates cursing, and while I don’t do it a lot, I do it sometimes. I knew it bothered her and she would tell me to stop if it did. For real life friends you can try talking about it with them. They should respect that it does bother you. You probably shouldn’t tell on the person because that’s not cool. I suggest going to your friends and saying something like, “Hey, do you mind not cursing around me? I am sorry but it bothers me!” If they agree to do that then condition them by speaking up whenever they curse. Don’t do it in a mean way, just point it out and remind them that you don’t like it. However, you can’t always solve this problem and in most cases it’s best to just ignore language that bothers you unless it turns into a form of bullying, in that case I say speak up to an adult. Online friends should be simple to deal with, you should be able to tell them and they should watch what they type. However, if they don’t they were never really your friend. I hope this helped. ❤

Marina: Well, first of all, I have to say it’s kind of ironic you’re coming to us for this, haha. 😛 If you don’t like swearing, speak up about it. I used to hate it when people swore around me, and I let them know. Other than that I really don’t have a ton to say since Casey covered everything so well. 🙂

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Hey guyssssssssssssss

Hi Hannah. xD

Marina: Hey, Hannah! 🙂

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Why did you make this account? –

영주 (Hannah)

Marina: I wasn’t online for this, but apparently it was to counteract some of the other negativity going around. And, y’know, Casey likes giving people advice. 😉

Omg Marina! XD Yes, I do love to give people advice. It was actually a mix of my idea and Jared’s idea, I want to counter negative energy by bringing in some positive energy.

Advice Part 1: Admin Casey

Whoa…. We already got more than five questions! I am going to reply to those right now! Thanks for sending questions in guys, I am going to try to give my best advice and see if I can help you all. Continue sending in questions. (Also, replies can take up to a day depending how busy the admins are if this keeps going like this!). https://ask.fm/FantageMarianna

Marina: I’ve also edited this post to provide my own answers to some of these questions. For questions I haven’t answered, I really don’t think I could add anything that Casey hasn’t already said. 😛

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what do you do when you’re lonely, antisocial and have no friends because all your friends are having a nice vacation and you’re just lonely ;^;

Well, I am sure everyone feels like this occasionally. If you’re lonely and antisocial and have no friends its a good idea to find things at home you can do when you are bored. I was once in the same situation and I tried to create my own games at home I could play by myself or try to do things with my online friends. Things will change in the future for you, you might have to ride out the lonely wave, but you can also change it by trying to talk to people at school when vacation is over. I suggest talking to people you see always by themselves, they might also be in the same situation. But another thing I suggest for this vacation is find one person you somewhat talk to and see if they want to hang out even just one day. I hope I was able to help. ❤ Good luck!

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I feel like the whole blogging community hates me and they’re pretending to like me. Is it better to pretend that you hate someone or tell them upfront?

It is way better to tell someone upfront, but a lot of people won’t to avoid drama or fights. You might just feel this way because you aren’t self confident, we all doubt ourselves sometimes. If it really bothers you maybe you should privately confront some of the people you believe are faking it. They might come out with the truth and they might not, or maybe they simply DO like you. If you want to ask someone about it I suggest being kind about it, and don’t get angry if someone says that actually don’t like you. Even if people don’t, the fact that they’re being kind to you says they respect your feelings. I hope this helped. ❤

Marina: DEFINITELY be honest, because your friendship is going to go nowhere if you’re being fake. Besides asking people privately, you could also make a post asking for people’s honest opinions/impressions of you. The people who give generic nice compliments probably hate you/don’t have an opinion on you, but the people who give honest-sounding explanations are probably telling the truth. People on FTWP generally aren’t that fake (believe me, I know fake, I’ve been on sites where literally EVERYONE is fake), so hopefully you’ll be able to find out what people really think of you.

And for what it’s worth, while I don’t necessarily hate everyone I don’t follow, if I am following you, I like you and your blog enough to want to read your posts on a regular basis. 😛

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I’m not sure who to buy art from, is it better to buy art from someone because they’re your friend or should you buy art from someone because it looks better?

That is all on you, though I suggest someone who makes better art simply because it might be something you want to keep depending on what you want drawn. A good way to break the news gently to your friend is stating that they are still talented but their talent needs to grow more, you have nothing against them or their art you just want what you PERSONALLY believe to be nicer. Who knows? Maybe someone out there thinks your friends art is better, they should know that its all about a persons perspective and they shouldn’t get mad at you for saying so. Though, if they do, I suggest letting them cool off and then apologizing and encouraging them on their journey into becoming an artist. But, it is still up to you to decide what way you want to go. I hope this helped. ❤

Marina: Uh, buy from the person who draws better. If you don’t want to tell your friend the truth (which is totally understandable if they don’t like criticism), just say you want different art from different people. Though, honestly, I don’t see why your friend has a right to be offended if you don’t buy their art…

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I’m “friends” with this really loud girl…. She’s extremely outgoing and some things she does really scare me sometimes. We’re literally complete opposites. Well, a few months ago, she did something really awful that brought out this anxiety in me (basically I don’t feel like I can trust anybody anymore) and I’ve been giving her the cold shoulder ever since. Basically, my question is, what exactly do I do in this situation? I’m worried if I call her out she’ll make fun of me or make me seem like a jerk, since she’s that type of person. But I feel bad about completely her.

A real friend is someone who would understand this sort of situation. I suggest talking it over with her, it is very likely she can’t see that she is doing something wrong. Sometimes people are oblivious to these things if you don’t bring them up. You should tell her all about how you feel and if she doesn’t apologize or accept it she was never really your friend in the first place and you deserve a better friend. Anxiety isn’t something to take lightly and a real friend would understand. But just remember, don’t try to change who she is, that would make you a bad friend also. Just keep in mind people are who they are but friends should respect each other’s differences and the things that bother them. I hope this helped. ❤

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What would you do if you don’t like you? If you want to change. If you don’t want to be who you are anymore?

You can’t exactly change who you are as a whole. You can condition yourself and change smaller things about you, but you should know everyone is amazing as themselves and you shouldn’t try to be anyone else. Everyone else is already taken!  I suggest trying to change some of the things about you that you find annoying but still being yourself. I used to be in your situation too, I absolutely hated myself and it took me years to figure out there is nothing I can do to change that. Pretending to be something you’re not is just going to make people dislike you more. What I did when I moved, because I am the type of person who blurts out anything and everything that comes to my mind, is I started holding back and being a quiet person, listening to others more. That is how I changed a part of me that I hated and you can do something small like that as well. But don’t completely change yourself. Trust me, you’re amazing just being you. If you think this way because of bulling, it’s them, not you. Hope this helped. ❤

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I’ve always wondered why the vaseline trend is so big, I’ve once tried a trend but it didnt go far, is it because people know Anna more?

It’s possible that is the reason why, but it also depends on your audience and how funny you make something. Anna had made it as a joke towards Tumblr Social Justice and a few of her friends got on board which is why it’s even anything. If you want to trend something I suggest starting in your circle of friends, that will get you far! I hope this helped. ❤

Marina: It’s probably because Anna kept including Vaseline in her posts. AFAIK her Vaseline posts started with this one here, and then since people liked that post so much (and Anna likes trolling people on Fantage), she decided to put some Vaseline in more of her posts. I’d say it was a wise decision… 😉

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Which bloggers are you each very close too?

Random question. xD But alright, I am close to Marina and Anna. Somewhat close to Nunnally, but I haven’t really talked to many other bloggers but I do want to be friends with the ones I have talked to.

The other admins I know are all close to each other but I have no idea who else. I will ask them to also answer this question if you are that curious!

Marina: Hopefully Casey won’t mind my hijacking her post… This is something people will probably know/have guessed from my posts, but Katie (from The Wand of Fantage) and Casey are my best friends (we all met on another site almost three years ago now, wow), and of course I’m close to Anna and Nunnally. 😉 Other bloggers who I’m close to but don’t run a blog/forum with, in no particular order, are Kat, Nutella, Sally, CutieCake, Blizz, Memepony, and basically everyone whose blogs I comment on on a regular basis. 😛

Please Read!

Anna and I talked this over and we introduce a new feature to you followers and Fantage Marianna! Fantage Marianna advice!

So how does it work? You can send anon messages to our Ask page that is linked above, we will wait until we get a certain number and reply to them on here.  They can be about anything to a certain extent, such as Fantage advice, friendship advice, real life advice etc. We will try our best! So look out for our advice posts! By the way, we will ignore spam messages and trolls.